Gonyimtig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, all-powerful bee.

Gonyimtig created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonyimtig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gonyimtig, she will turn you into a frog.

Gonyimtig's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gonyimtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Worship no other gods but Gonyimtig.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.