Femwanciss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, humorless aardvark.

Femwanciss created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Femwanciss, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Femwanciss, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Femwanciss' most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Femwanciss' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Femwanciss.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. You must pray to Femwanciss four times a day.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Do not laugh in public.