Cumruttkadgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, calm weasel.

Cumruttkadgeb created the Virgo Supercluster eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumruttkadgeb, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cumruttkadgeb, she will destroy your home solar system.

Cumruttkadgeb's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cumruttkadgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cumruttkadgeb.

5. Run away if six horses approach from the north.