Quimtim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, fussy capybara.

Quimtim created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimtim, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimtim, he will turn you into a duck.

Quimtim's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Quimtim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Quimtim on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about foxes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.