Figxingep is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, compassionate giraffe.

Figxingep created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Figxingep, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Figxingep, he will turn you into a hamster.

Figxingep's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Figxingep's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.