Camcapfem is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, astonishing spider.

Camcapfem created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Camcapfem, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Camcapfem, it will turn you into a puffin.

Camcapfem's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Camcapfem's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet squirrels, for they are unholy.

2. Never wear black boots.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.