Genfarnwig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, grumpy lion.

Genfarnwig created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Genfarnwig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Genfarnwig, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Genfarnwig's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Genfarnwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to monkeys while wearing mauve scarves.

2. Do not kill squirrels.

3. Genfarnwig loves frogs, so they must be respected.

4. Hide from purple tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Never sing in the presence of voles.