Kamgemyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, confident narwhal.

Kamgemyarp created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamgemyarp, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kamgemyarp, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Kamgemyarp's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Kamgemyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Feed all hungry snakes.

4. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

5. Never think about stars.