Apphabnig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciful butterfly.

Apphabnig created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Apphabnig, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Apphabnig, she will boil you in a big pot.

Apphabnig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Apphabnig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet dogs for they are unholy.

2. Do not hurt frogs.

3. Retreat if four seals approach from the south.

4. You must never eat grapes.

5. Never jump in the presence of gulls.