Libtalyik Armlappag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, narcissistic turtle.

Libtalyik Armlappag created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Libtalyik Armlappag, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Libtalyik Armlappag, she will make you grow a tail.

Libtalyik Armlappag's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Libtalyik Armlappag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never hurt turtles.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.