Hogvilxen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented beaver.

Hogvilxen created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogvilxen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hogvilxen, it will throw large rocks at you.

Hogvilxen's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hogvilxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Erect six lead sculptures of Hogvilxen on top of important buildings.

5. Do not hurt great tits.