Ratlagbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless guinea pig.

Ratlagbonk created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ratlagbonk, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ratlagbonk, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Ratlagbonk's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Ratlagbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Do not cook food in pots.