Cetjadkar is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unthoughtful dolphin.

Cetjadkar created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetjadkar, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cetjadkar, he will jump up and down on your head.

Cetjadkar's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Cetjadkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Hide from magenta hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Never eat oranges.