Femxenxuc is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish narwhal.

Femxenxuc created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femxenxuc, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Femxenxuc, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Femxenxuc's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Femxenxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Femxenxuc.

4. Always help ducks in need.

5. Always pray immersed in water.