Zogpingen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating yak.

Zogpingen created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Zogpingen, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zogpingen, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Zogpingen's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Zogpingen's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.