Gilraptar is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, caring meerkat.

Gilraptar created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilraptar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gilraptar, he will turn you into a goat.

Gilraptar's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Gilraptar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not kill bats.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always wear mauve.