Gildobvog is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, staggering fish.

Gildobvog created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gildobvog, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gildobvog, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gildobvog's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gildobvog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four grasshopers approach from the north.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Erect three silicon sculptures of Gildobvog on top of important buildings.