Nurtsidpit is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, deceitful warg.

Nurtsidpit created an atom nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsidpit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Nurtsidpit, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nurtsidpit's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Nurtsidpit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Voles are not to be trusted.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not laugh in public.