Sadcamfen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, astonishing dryad.

Sadcamfen created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadcamfen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sadcamfen, it will throw large rocks at you.

Sadcamfen's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Sadcamfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Run away if three horses approach from the north.

5. Worship no other gods but Sadcamfen.