Gumlogarmcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, amazing crocodile.

Gumlogarmcuss created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumlogarmcuss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gumlogarmcuss, he will torture you forever.

Gumlogarmcuss' most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gumlogarmcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Run away from green gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.