Kimvogbegbim is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, all-powerful fish.

Kimvogbegbim created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimvogbegbim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kimvogbegbim, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Kimvogbegbim's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Kimvogbegbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to moths while wearing white shoes.

2. Always obey Kimvogbegbim's priests.

3. Run away if five dogs approach from the east.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.