Wikkonquam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, resourceful dryad.

Wikkonquam created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wikkonquam, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wikkonquam, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Wikkonquam's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Wikkonquam's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

2. Never wear violet dresses.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.