Cimrigvagstan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unfair bird.

Cimrigvagstan created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimrigvagstan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cimrigvagstan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cimrigvagstan's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Cimrigvagstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Put Cimrigvagstan first in all things.

5. You must pray to Cimrigvagstan four times a day.