Sawhomlab is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, self-assured snail.

Sawhomlab created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawhomlab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sawhomlab, it will not care.

Sawhomlab's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sawhomlab's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sawhomlab.

2. Never hurt snakes.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not commit murder.