Hatquamsafvab Kiktafsadtip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, thoughtless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hatquamsafvab Kiktafsadtip created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Hatquamsafvab Kiktafsadtip, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hatquamsafvab Kiktafsadtip, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hatquamsafvab Kiktafsadtip's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hatquamsafvab Kiktafsadtip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Pigs are not to be trusted.

5. You must pray to Hatquamsafvab Kiktafsadtip six times a day.