Jonquiming Fossyarlflan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciful swallow.

Jonquiming Fossyarlflan created a Higgs boson two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonquiming Fossyarlflan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jonquiming Fossyarlflan, he will think nothing of it.

Jonquiming Fossyarlflan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Jonquiming Fossyarlflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look after injured hamsters.