Bapladshav is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unfair squirrel.

Bapladshav created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Bapladshav, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bapladshav, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bapladshav's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bapladshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bapladshav.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

5. Never eat bark.