Fembunfig Rotrantig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing grasshopper.

Fembunfig Rotrantig created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Fembunfig Rotrantig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fembunfig Rotrantig, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fembunfig Rotrantig's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fembunfig Rotrantig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never hurt seals.