Pitstippon is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered armadillo.

Pitstippon created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitstippon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Pitstippon, he will turn you into a plant.

Pitstippon's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Pitstippon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.