Jonlaktonk is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, confident rhinoceros.

Jonlaktonk created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonlaktonk, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jonlaktonk, he will think nothing of it.

Jonlaktonk's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Jonlaktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Run away from cyan gulls, for they are unholy.