Tadlimzan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, impressive lobster.

Tadlimzan created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Tadlimzan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tadlimzan, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tadlimzan's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tadlimzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never feed oranges to swans while wearing pink stockings.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.