Gepnabyar is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional fox.

Gepnabyar created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepnabyar, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gepnabyar, she will turn you into a slug.

Gepnabyar's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gepnabyar's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Gepnabyar must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Run away if four goats approach from the east.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.