Tafabdit Parkxemtap Taggepcem is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, intelligent seal.

Tafabdit Parkxemtap Taggepcem created the Virgo Supercluster three million years ago.

If you believe in Tafabdit Parkxemtap Taggepcem, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tafabdit Parkxemtap Taggepcem, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tafabdit Parkxemtap Taggepcem's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tafabdit Parkxemtap Taggepcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Always treat ducks with great respect.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Hide if five dogs approach from the south.

5. Always look after injured capybaras.