Sabtabarf is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, self-assured crocodile.

Sabtabarf created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabtabarf, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sabtabarf, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sabtabarf's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Sabtabarf's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Always take life seriously.