Kapcipfem is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful rhinoceros.

Kapcipfem created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Kapcipfem, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kapcipfem, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Kapcipfem's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kapcipfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Do not eat melons.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.