Nartarpzod is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, contented dove.

Nartarpzod created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartarpzod, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nartarpzod, he will turn you into a plant.

Nartarpzod's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nartarpzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never mention bats.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.