Carkopflap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, awesome lizard.

Carkopflap created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carkopflap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Carkopflap, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Carkopflap's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Carkopflap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four seals approach from the west.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Carkopflap loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.