Nellyak Tennarltarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient wolf.

Nellyak Tennarltarp created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellyak Tennarltarp, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nellyak Tennarltarp, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nellyak Tennarltarp's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Nellyak Tennarltarp's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Always help gulls in need.