Vonfatmumyimbassquatzim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, thoughtless mongoose.

Vonfatmumyimbassquatzim created the solar system two years ago.

If you believe in Vonfatmumyimbassquatzim, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonfatmumyimbassquatzim, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vonfatmumyimbassquatzim's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Vonfatmumyimbassquatzim's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Worship no other gods but Vonfatmumyimbassquatzim.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never play with disobedient children.