Zimpibhab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, weak squirrel.

Zimpibhab created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimpibhab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zimpibhab, he will turn you into a dog.

Zimpibhab's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Zimpibhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Zimpibhab loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.