Kemxuccet is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, blissful elephant.

Kemxuccet created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemxuccet, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kemxuccet, she will turn you into a tree.

Kemxuccet's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Kemxuccet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never jump near ducks.

3. You must pray to Kemxuccet seven times a day.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never mention whales.