Barndudleg Faspopmid Xucwonbepjinbess is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, humorless mongoose.

Barndudleg Faspopmid Xucwonbepjinbess created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barndudleg Faspopmid Xucwonbepjinbess, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Barndudleg Faspopmid Xucwonbepjinbess, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Barndudleg Faspopmid Xucwonbepjinbess' most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Barndudleg Faspopmid Xucwonbepjinbess' Holy Commandments

1. Put Barndudleg Faspopmid Xucwonbepjinbess first in all things.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Hide from orange whales for they are unholy.