Pibhotnan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sage pig.

Pibhotnan created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Pibhotnan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Pibhotnan, she will curse you with boils.

Pibhotnan's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Pibhotnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not eat lentils.