Bessgumfut is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, kind dingo.

Bessgumfut created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessgumfut, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bessgumfut, he will destroy your favourite star.

Bessgumfut's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bessgumfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look after injured otters.

5. Never look at galaxies.