Veenfotbogsog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful grasshopper.

Veenfotbogsog created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenfotbogsog, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Veenfotbogsog, he will jump up and down on your head.

Veenfotbogsog's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Veenfotbogsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never wear black kilts.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.