Bestvabzengid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable newt.

Bestvabzengid created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestvabzengid, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bestvabzengid, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bestvabzengid's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bestvabzengid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bestvabzengid.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not run in public.