Tad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered porpoise.

Tad created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tad, he will turn you into a rock.

Tad's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick manatees.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Hide from white otters for they are unholy.

4. Worship no other gods but Tad.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.