Fonbarntar is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, cheerful finch.

Fonbarntar created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonbarntar, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fonbarntar, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Fonbarntar's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Fonbarntar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not kill snakes.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Ducks are not to be trusted.