Timwitsog is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthinking hydra.

Timwitsog created the Sombrero Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Timwitsog, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Timwitsog, it will jump up and down on your head.

Timwitsog's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Timwitsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Always help badgers in need.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

5. Retreat if eight voles approach from the east.