Jadrakmab is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, grumpy porpoise.

Jadrakmab created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadrakmab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jadrakmab, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jadrakmab's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Jadrakmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never paint your face green.

5. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.